As the time progressed, it occured to me I was working far harder the he was. It was not for a lack of talent as we are both very seasoned at golf, it was not due to physical conditioning again, we are both in good shape (especially for his age ha!) so what was it? He was not dealing with mental issues, that apparently, I was.
When we started discussing it, I had a flashback from when I was 11. (Yes, that was a while ago, shut up! ;) ) I flashed back to asking my Father for some "Balata Balls" to play in a tournament. For those of you who do not know golf, Balata Balls back then were the best balls on the market, all tournament professionals played them. There was just one draw back, if you miss hit any shot the ball would be cut and ultimately ruined. Thus, you could go through a sleeve (3) of balls per round or more. However, they were so soft, that you could spin and work the ball, thus creating more opportunities to score and perhaps win the competition. It would be compared to a mountain bike's tires. If you place those skinny racing tires on a mountain bike, like Lance Armstrong uses, you probably will blow a few tires. Yet if you place the normal mountain bike tires on the bike you may blow a tire or two but you will get a lot further with the proper equipment.
As I was flashing back, during this round to the "Balata Balls" it occurred to me, I have a subconscious program (a voice in my head) that says "I have to work twice as hard, in order to get the same results." This voice had not showed up, to my knowledge in some years (you do the math! lol) only now on the course when i needed my mindset to be in attack mode, to score well. Rather I was in the mode of "working" at the game, instead of playing it and was getting my butt kicked! I had found out that due to my Father's "Frugalness" (ha he was cheap, I'll say it) he placed a program in me saying you will just have to work hard, with less. While, all the other boys had nice shiney new clubs and Balata Balls I was playing clubs I had to build myself and "DT" balls (very hard and rarely cut, but hard to control and of course cheaper) and feeling "Less than." (Children are masters at "Teasing" and making you feel "Less than" or separate)
Needless to say, i have been working and changing that mindset all night and have done so. Today look at yourself, your partner or your children and are you subconsciously telling them "you are not worthy of a Balata Ball?" I am not saying spoil them but if you can and it is only couple of bucks, which is more important; saving the couple of bucks now or spending thousands of hours and time on therapy later when they have to work out (hopefully they do) their self worth issues?
I am lucky enough to have the skills to change that mindset instantly but it took 20 years to master the "mental" game that I now coach on. So you could say it was my Karma with my Father, yes that could be true, however aren't your parents supposed to help you become well balanced adults? Afterall, Dad is the one who got me into golf, only to then handcuff my play by then not supporting my success? That my friends is a mixed message and children will unknownly take the strongest message they recieve and make it a "life long program." For if mom/dad say it is so it must be, as they take care of me is the logic they arrive at.
Hug those around you, tell them they are worthy of their dreams, support them all in you can in all ways, even if it just means letting them know they are worthy of "Balata Balls" if even you can't afford them, telling them you BELIEVE is worth more than anything.
Until next time, I am Still chasing Dream #7, thanks for reading.
Dr.Fox
We have "Self-esteem" and "Success Attitude" programs for download written and recorded by me (Dr. Fox) at www.DrTravisFox.com (Hey for couple of bucks you can program their subconscious for success, straight A's or attitude, what's that worth!)
